Crushed

You ever wonder why they call it a crush? You know, that giddy little feeling of being smitten with someone else. You like them soooooo much you want to write their name in a spiral notebook a thousand times....

The dictionary defines this kind of thing like this:
Crush- Informal- A usually temporary infatuation.

More times than not, it actually ends up feeling like this:
Crush- To break, pound, or grind into small fragments or powder.

Thats how you feel when someone you crush on ends up with someone else. Even if youre just friends and there is no possiblity of romance, you still get fucked all to hell emotionally. Even when you actually are kinda happy for them, for finding someone.... you still wish them bad mojo.

A crush is a selfish thing. It serves no purpose other than to torture us most of the time. The worst part is, you usually know whats going to happen, but you fool yourself into thinking otherwise, and are actually surprised when it doesnt work out.

I dont thing a crush has anything to do with love either. A crush is not in the love family of emotions. I actually think its closer to obsession, in the greed family. Its about possession, not unity. There is no beauty in a crush.

Lesson learned, only not for the first time, and certainly not for the last.