Dreams dont just die...reality murders them.

Here I am, and its been almost 10m years since I went to Video Game school. I dont remember much of it, and the video game aspect was really there so they could get your money and then tell you that they are just going to teach you animation. Fuckers.

I just read an article about how game design is becoming readily available at a number of schools across the country... when I wanted in, there was Digipen, and maybe 2 others in the world. I read this article and think, "fuck me, this is what I want to do and Im not doing it." Sure, there are the side projects, and the endless scribblings in the notebooks. I spent part of yesterday reading them, and there is some good stuff in there. I think I'm going to put everything up on the web, just so I know its there if someone wants to read it. Personally, I doubt anyone will, seeing as how I dont think a single person has visited this blog. Still, I will know, and much like this lonely blog, it will be there should someone stumble upon it.

I read that article and I almost fucking cried. I almost cried. I just wish I could have it all, the family, the job and the love of games. I took my kids to the mega jumbo arcade thats local, and I didnt play a single game. I hellped my 2 year old daughter play. She didnt want to leave. She is her fathers child. She beat the first 2 opponents on VF4....... I was so proud. She danced pn the DDR mat and people thought she was so cute. Its moments like those that keep me here, that keep me from running away. I may never get ot be a game disigner, but I still have my dream... and with any luck, I can pass that dream onto my kids a nd maybe one of them will flip through dad's old notebooks and make one of my ideas a reality. Wishful thinking.